The Price of Youth
by auri mynonys
Summary: AU. Julem. Caine does not make it through the hurricane, and Jupiter abdicates her throne. Years after the initial abdication, Jupiter is beginning to grow old. Balem offers her a chance to use Regenex, but finds Jupiter to be obstinately against its use. House Abrasax, however, does not take no for an answer.


The first time Balem offers her Regenex, Jupiter is shocked.

"You… you _want_ me to do this?" she says, staring at the glowing glass container in his hands. "I thought - "

His smile is warm - warm, that is, for him. "You thought… what?" he asks, his voice at his usual hoarse whisper. "That I spared you after your abdication for my own amusement? That would have been foolish."

Jupe frowns. Of course she's known he has reasons for keeping her - after all, she is in body the ghost of the mother he worshipped. The occasional memory she shares with her past self only feeds the need he feels.

She just hadn't thought his need was so _permanent._

"You told me once I wouldn't live to see the Earth harvested," she says. "You said - "

There is a slight flash of temper in his eyes at the mention of Earth, as there always is. "It is likely you will not," he says, "Given that you have stolen it back from me - and you are determined to let the place go to waste."

Jupiter glares at him, folding her arms over her chest. "I don't consider sparing the lives of billions a waste," she says. "I'm sorry that you do."

His smile fades, but he does not lower the Regenex. "I am offering you a gift, Jupiter," he says. "I am offering you an eternity to protect Earth - to keep it safe as long as you choose. Can you rightly refuse such a gift?"

Jupiter laughs mirthlessly. "You're not asking me to do this for me," she says. "Don't try and play that game. You're asking because you're not ready to let me go."

He swallows, his eyes glittering wetly in the light of her room. "Is that a crime?" he asks.

Jupiter snorts. "On several planets, including mine, everything we do is a crime."

His lips twitch into something like a grin. "You are forever claiming that you are not my mother."

Jupiter lifts her hands and turns away. "Nope," she says. "I'm not willing to argue semantics here - not right now."

"But are you willing to accept my gift?" he asks. "Will you go?"

Jupiter thinks of Titus, and the horror she had felt when he had told her what Regenex was. Her gut clenches, a shiver running through her. This was not a choice she ever expected to have to face - but now that it's before her, Jupiter is certain she would rather die than touch the stuff.

"Let me think about it," she says instead.

There is a long pause, the silence dragging on forever. Jupiter grinds her teeth, every muscle tensing as she waits for Balem's response.

"Very well," he says at last. "If that is what you wish." There is another pause. "But, Jupiter…"

She turns, eyebrows raised. "Yes?"

Balem casts her a piercing look. "Don't wait too long."

* * *

The second time, he does not take it so well. Jupiter's hair is streaked with silver, and her wrinkles are deeper and more defined than his have ever been. "Don't you think it's time you accepted?" he asks. "As if we did not already know you are the more valiant and pure of all of us. It has not done you any favors, my Jupiter."

"You're not the boss of me," Jupe says airily, running fingers through her hair.

Behind her, Balem tilts his head, his stare burning into the back of her neck. "I rather think I am," he says. "You are not a queen any longer, after all. You gave your inheritance back to me."

Jupiter smiles, sharp and cold as a knife. "All of it but Earth," she says.

A muscle in his jaw tightens. "Yes," Balem says. "Thank you for the reminder."

"Sounded like you needed it," she replies. She pauses in the door, sighing and rubbing her eyes. "If I change my mind," she says, "I'll let you know. Alright?"

Balem narrows his eyes, but finally nods. "As you wish."

Jupiter swallows and hurries away from him. She's not any good at lying, and she's not sure she can handle his reaction when he finds out she'll never tell him yes.

* * *

The third time, he sends her to the bath without asking, servants ushering her into the room with eager whispers and insistent hands. Jupiter is told only that they're bringing her to the observatory to see a new planet, one whose surface shines like a diamond.

Then she enters and sees the pool.

"Oh _hell_ no," Jupe says, tearing her arm out of the handmaiden's grip. "I never agreed to this, and I'm not agreeing to it now."

The handmaiden steps in front of the door, barring Jupiter's escape. "My lord has demanded it," she says. "You cannot refuse."

Jupiter jerks free of the other servant, an android with a merciless grip. "Your lord was told I wouldn't go until I said I was willing," she spits, her hands hovering defensively in front of her - just in case any of the servants get the idea to grab her. "This isn't really what the word 'willing' means."

The android tilts his head. "My lord has demanded it," he repeats, as if this will somehow make Jupiter change her mind.

Jupiter tastes bile in the back of her throat. The pool glitters in the corner of her eye, beautiful and tempting - but Jupiter knows what made its contents, and she can't imagine ever accepting it of her own free will.

She clenches her teeth and storms to the door, staring the handmaiden directly in the eye. "I'm not going in," she says. "And that's final. Tell your lord _that_, if you want."

For an instant, the handmaiden holds strong, blocking the door. But the Abrasax temper is legendary, and Jupiter is, after all, an Abrasax - in genes if not in name. No one with half a brain would test that temper willingly. The handmaiden steps aside and lets Jupiter pass with a bowed head, even as the android voices a startled protest.

Jupe walks out with her head held high, and waits until the door is closed before she starts to run.

* * *

She is not surprised when Mr. Night comes to collect her, a summons from Balem in his hand. Jupe briefly thinks about protesting, but Chicanery never takes no for an answer - especially not where Lord Balem is concerned.

Mr. Night leaves Jupiter in Balem's throne room. Balem's seat is turned away from her, facing instead the enormous glass window panes that look out onto the planet below - never a good sign. Jupiter has gotten good at reading Balem over the years, and even if her wrinkles are showing quite a bit lately, her mind is no less sharp than it was when she first met him. "You're angry," she says. She still isn't good at the Abrasax game of manipulation. She's a straightforward person and she'll speak her mind, consequences be damned - especially to Balem, who needs her honesty the most.

Balem turns his chair to face her, fingers steepled. His voice is soft and even when he speaks, belying the slight trembling of his hands. "Mr. Night tells me you have refused a Nectar bath," he says. He pauses. "Again."

Jupiter clenches her fists at her sides. "Yes," she says. "And?"

Balem's jaw tightens. "I would not belabor the obvious," he says. "But as it seems I must… you are growing old, Jupiter. Your cells require rejuvenation, or else you will die."

Jupiter folds her arms across her chest, hugging herself. "Yes," she agrees. "I will."

Balem tilts his head. Jupe thinks she sees his eyes darken, but it's hard to tell in the dim light. Nothing else about his expression changes. "Is that your intent, Jupiter?" he says. "To die?"

She lifts her chin, breathing slowly. It had to come to this one day, she knows: after all, unlike Balem, she doesn't have forever - even if he wants her to. She releases a long, slow breath, and meets his gaze straight on. "Yes," she says. "That's pretty much my plan."

There is a long and frightening pause. Balem is still as stone, his expression unchanged - but every muscle in his body has gone taut with his anger, and Jupiter braces for what will inevitably come next.

"_WHY?_" he shouts, shattering the silence. Despite herself, Jupe flinches at the boyish scream. "Why would you choose to die, after all that you have learned and seen here, when you could be immortal?"

Jupiter's knuckles are almost white now, her fingers curling into tighter fists. "Not a big fan of the price of eternal youth," she says.

Balem laughs, his eyes wild and glassy, bordering on the edge of hysteria. "And so you mean to die instead," he says. "To senselessly lay down your life when you have barely had a chance to live it - to be a blink in a billion years of human history and nothing more."

Jupe forces a small, tense shrug. "That's about the shape of it, I guess."

She can hear Balem breathing now, a hard, painful rasp in his chest. He rises, looming over her, and makes his way towards her with slow, deliberate steps. "So this is your idea of gratitude," he says. "I spare your life and offer you eternity, and yet you refuse. Is this some vengeance for my past? You used me once to play the instrument of your death, and now you mean to do it again. Is that what I am to understand?"

Jupiter blinks, shakes her head. "I'm not asking you to kill me," she says.

"YES YOU ARE," he screams, closing the distance between them in a few long strides. His fingers close over her arms and hold, with force hard enough to bruise. "That is _exactly _what you are asking of me! Fifty years you give me after forcing me to end your life, and you expect that to be enough? To be recompensefor living without you? No, I will nothave it! Not this time! Not when you have forced your way back to me, not when I have fought and scraped and ruined myself for you…"

Jupiter tries to wrench herself free of Balem's grip, palms flat against his chest and pushing hard. "Let _go_," she says. "Balem - "

"No," he snarls, shoving her hands aside and catching her by the wrist. "You will not make me suffer this again. You _will not._"

Jupiter rips her hand free of him and slaps him hard across the face. He freezes, stunned, as if he has been shocked out of a trance. "For the thousandth time," she says, her voice very low, "Seraphi and I share a face and a few memories - but we are _not _the same. And this isn't your choice, Balem - it's mine, just as it's my choice to protect the Earth."

Balem laughs again, soft and bitter this time. "And how is that going, Jupiter?" he asks. "I understand that overpopulation is proving to be quite a trying thing there. I'm told they expect a nuclear winter to begin soon over resources if something isn't done."

Jupiter raises her fist to punch him, but stays her hand, her heart thudding loudly in her ears. "I am _not _harvesting that planet," she says. "We'll find another way."

Balem's gaze is almost pitying. "Will you?" he asks. "Will you, before you die?"

Jupiter looks away. "I still have time."

She can feel his eyes on her, his breath ghosting over her cheek. "Not enough," he whispers. "Not enough, unless you accept the gift I am offering you."

Jupiter closes her eyes tightly. Fifty years ago, this all had seemed so magical - terrifying, yes, but magical all the same. Now she wishes it had never happened, that she had stayed a housemaid and a toilet cleaner somewhere back in Chicago, where life was safe and dull and easy and the fate of billions didn't rest upon her shoulders. "I can't," she says. "I just - I can't."

Balem's eyes are wide and filled with tears. "Cannot… or will not?" he asks, voice rising.

Jupiter shakes her head and turns on her heel, boots clacking as she makes her way to the door.

"_Don't turn your back on me!_" Balem shouts - but Jupiter does not stop, and she is out the door and running before Balem can catch up to her.

* * *

Jupiter is surprised when Mr. Night appears a month later with a request from Balem. "My lord would be honored to have the pleasure of your company for dinner this evening," Night says, offering her a bow. "He says it has been too long."

Jupiter raises an eyebrow, flicking through a scrolling screen of details about the unstable situation on Earth. "Is this an apology?" she asks. "For that whole Regenex thing?"

"You may consider it as one if you wish, Your Majesty," Night says, tilting his head politely.

Jupiter half-smiles. "He's not going to change my mind," she says. "You can tell him that, if you like."

Night winces. He knows too well the fate of those who displease Balem Abrasax. "That is for you to declare," he says. "It is not my business, anyway."

"Damn right it's not," Jupe mutters. She tosses the tablet aside, its screen clicking off. "Any messages from the Aegis?" she asks.

"Nothing," Night says. "Though you will be lucky if you are allowed to receive said messages, assuming they do get through. I do hope this delay does not put any kinks into your plans."

Jupiter casts him a withering glare, but does not deign the obvious remark with a reply. She's learned by now that Night doesn't much care what she says or thinks. "Tell Balem that if he can behave himself, I'll be there," she says.

Night bows. "I'm sure my lord will be on his best behavior."

Jupe blows a strand of hair out of her face. "Well then, he can expect me."

Night smiles. "There is a dress that should be suitable for the occasion laid out in your dressing room," he says. "Please be so good as to wear it."

Jupiter rolls her eyes. "I am _so _tired of you people dressing and undressing me whenever you feel like it," she says. "I swear - "

"I would be more than happy to send a servant or two to assist you, if you should require it," Chicanery says. His tone is one that brooks no refusal: _say yes, or someone will make you. _

Jupiter groans, head flopping back upon the pillow. "Fine," she says. "I'll wear it. No 'assistance' necessary."

"Very good," Night drawls. "We will see you within the hour, then."

Jupiter grabs for her tablet and turns it back on, waving Night out - and soon she is too absorbed to give the matter any further thought.

Jupiter's first warning sign is the dress. It's a small, sheer white thing, strapless and cut open at the sides and legs - not really appropriate for a woman of 57. It looks like a dress one of Titus' girls would wear more than anything Balem would choose. Balem's taste tends more towards velvet and jewels and absurdly high collars - for himself and Jupiter both.

She is even more surprised when she enters his chambers and finds him dressed only in black leather pants. "No one told me this was a 'get naked' kind of party," she says, raising an eyebrow. "What's with the lack of shirt?"

Balem smiles and rises, taking a long drink of wine from an embellished goblet as he walks. "I wished for a casual evening," he says.

Jupe arches both brows this time, pursing her lips. "I don't think I'd call what you've put me in 'casual,'" she says. "Just small."

Balem inclines his head. "My apologies," he murmurs. "Next time, you may wear whatever you wish."

Jupiter sighs and decides to let it go. She hasn't seen Balem in a month, after all, and he hasn't tried for the bath again - yet. Maybe he's finally given up on the matter. She wanders over to the table and grabs a goblet of wine, clearly poured for her. "Cheers to next time, then," she says, lifting her glass and taking a swallow.

Balem watches her intensely. Jupiter gets the sense that she is being stripped bare in some dark corner of his mind - that he is devouring her with his eyes. She lowers her glass and snaps her fingers in front of Balem's face, making him start. "Wake up, Oedipus," she says. "I know it's been a month, but dinner's on the table, not on me."

He smiles mysteriously. "That remains to be seen," he says.

"Oh _ho_." Jupiter clicks her tongue. "That's asking a lot of me. I'm still pretty pissed at you, honestly."

"And yet you came." Balem sets his glass down and comes towards her, his pace steady and measured. "You must not be as angry as you claim."

Jupe shrugs. "Maybe," she says. "Maybe I was curious."

Balem tilts his head. "Curious?" he repeats.

Jupe grins. "To see if you were actually going to apologize," she says. "It would probably be the first time in history an Abrasax did it. It'd be a pity to miss it."

Balem laughs softly. "I am sorry to disappoint, my Jupiter, but I have no intention of apologizing."

Jupiter's grin fades. "It was too much to hope for, I guess," she says.

"I'm afraid so." Balem is very close now, the freckles on his face standing out starkly against his pale skin. "But I am no longer angry. You have Mr. Night to thank for that."

Jupiter narrows her eyes, setting down her glass. "Oh?" she says. "And what did he say, exactly, to soothe your ruffled feathers?"

Balem lays a hand at her waist and guides her to an observation window. It looks out upon the vastness of space, stars scattered on into eternity. Jupiter thinks of her father, dead longer than she has been alive, and feels a pang.

"At first your obstinance puzzled me," Balem says. Jupiter blinks, startled, and returns back to the moment, her father fading away. "I could not understand why you would refuse a gift of such magnitude. I had thought you would understand that what I was offering you would prove precious to us both - but you refused to see, and I grew angry."

He pauses, lifting one hand and pressing spindly fingers to the glass, as if he might touch the stars by doing so. "I questioned Mr. Night as to the reasons for your refusal," he says. "Thankfully, he reminded me of one thing I had overlooked - that you are, in some respects, still very much a child compared to us. And obstinate children require guidance - even in matters where they would not have it from their guardian."

Jupiter stiffens. "I'm not a child," she says. "I'm 57."

She realizes instantly how ridiculous that must sound to Balem, who counts his age by millenia. But to her surprise, he does not argue the point. "No," he says, "You are not truly a child. But there is still much you do not understand - and much that you will never understand, if you choose to embrace death over life."

Jupiter squirms away from him, slipping out of his grip. "Embrace _life_?" she repeats. "Only my own life. By taking the Regenex, I'd be condoning the destruction of millions of lives just so I can live forever!"

"What of it?" Balem asks. "Would you prefer their lives were wasted? That the world we created for them, that they were born for and died upon, was for nothing? You are an Abrasax, Jupiter. Your life is worth a thousand of theirs."

Jupiter straightens, staring Balem straight in the eye. "No," she says flatly. "It isn't. And neither is yours."

She thinks at first that that will be all - that Balem will let her flee, and that another month will pass before he tries again. But then his hands close around her arms, spinning her around and dragging her back. He catches her around the waist and pulls her hard against him, imprisoning her.

Jupiter struggles to pull free, pushing hard against him. "What are you doing?!" she says. "Balem - "

"One day," he says, his voice soft and pained, "You will forgive me for this. One day you will understand."

He raises a fist and squeezes, and the floor falls away beneath them. Jupiter screams as she falls, her mouth snapping shut as she abruptly finds herself sinking. The liquid closes over her head seconds after she falls, Balem still clutching her tightly. Horror takes her as she realizes what Balem has done: he's dropped them both into a pool full of Regenex, and now it's working its magic upon her. Her skin tingles wherever the Regenex touches, aches and pains disappearing, skin smoothing over in an instant.

He has made her young again.

Jupiter wants to gasp, to shout, but all she can do is fight. She lashes out at Balem, kicking and clawing - but he holds her tight against him, refusing to release her until the Regenex has done its work. Jupiter chokes upon a sob, punching uselessly at the liquid surrounding her. Too late: the aches and pains of her age have faded into nothing.

It is over in minutes. Balem drags her back to the surface, and Jupiter pulls herself free of him and the pool both, dragging herself across the floor. Her first breath is a heaving sob, her shoulders shaking violently. _You should have expected this, _her thoughts whisper. _You should have known better than to trust an Abrasax. _

Balem's hands are tender when they press into her hair, gentler than he has ever been before when he touches her. "I couldn't, Jupiter," he says; and Jupiter feels a swell of hate for him, for his whisper-soft voice and his gentle hands and the way that he deceived her. "I couldn't let you die. Not again. Not at my hand. You must understand - "

Jupiter rolls over with an angry shout, lashing out at him. She kicks him hard and is rewarded with a scream of pain. She sits up and punches blindly, driving a fist into Balem's jaw. He grunts, falling backwards into the table with the force of her strike. Jupiter sees blood on her fist and feels a grim swell of satisfaction.

"I don't have to understand anything," she says. "You lied to me, and you betrayed me. If you think I will _ever _forgive you for that - "

He raises his hands in surrender, one stretching out towards her. "Jupiter, please - " he says, his voice breaking.

She clambers to her feet before he can touch her again. She is still wet, her white dress heavy with liquid. She shudders, a wave of nausea rolling over her. She has to get out of these clothes. She has to get dry. She has to get out of here at all costs, or she'll go mad. Her heart pounds in her throat, her eyes burning. _How could you? I should never have expected better of you, but I did. Oh god, I did._

Jupiter spins away from him and takes off running. Balem's scream echoes behind her, a desperate echo of her name - but she ignores him and keeps running, knocking aside servants as she goes.

_I can't stay here. I can't._

Jupiter isn't certain how she finds the hangar bay - but it appears before her like the answer to a prayer. A thousand shuttles await her, ready to take her anywhere. Heedless, Jupiter runs for the one closest to the hangar bay doors, clambering into it and diving for the controls. Her hands shake as the shuttle hums to life, kicking into gear faster than she could have hoped. She hits the throttle and zooms out of the bay at top speed, just as a group of androids come bursting in with guns blazing. The hangar doors attempt to close, but Jupiter is out of them and into space before they can stop her. Gasping, she frantically opens a portal, giving coordinates she only vaguely remembers from some lesson on planets that Balem gave her. She doesn't know the planet's name, or even who owns it - but she is through the portal and there before she can think better of the decision, the portal snapping shut behind her, Balem's ship suddenly gone.

In the silence of the shuttle, Jupiter's despair and anger crash over her. She lowers her head into her hands and sobs, and stays there crying for a long while.

* * *

Balem is a mess when Chicanery reports to him, still soaked from the Regenex, his hair hanging wetly in his face.

"My lord," Chicanery says, licking his lips nervously. "Jupiter - that is to say - we tried our best to - "

Balem lifts his head slowly. From this angle he looks unhinged, his lips parted in a furious snarl, his eyes glittering darkly in the dim light of his chambers. "She escaped," he says. "That is what you mean to say. You lost her."

Chicanery swallows, throat bobbing. "The particular shuttle she took unfortunately lacks a tracking - "

"_Don't give me excuses!_" Balem snarls, slamming a tightly-closed fist against the table. "Just find her! Find her, or your life is forfeit. Do you understand?" He gives Night all of a millisecond to respond before screaming, "_Do you understand?!_"

Chicanery flinches, offering a hurried bow. "My lord, of course - at once, my lord - our best trackers shall be put on it - "

Balem rises to his feet, quivering with rage. "Bring her to me," he hisses. Chicanery cowers back, and wishes desperately that he had not chosen so volatile an employer. "Bring her back alive and unharmed. And do it _soon._ I cannot - _I cannot - _"

He does not finish the thought, but he doesn't need to. Chicanery knows what he means.

Night scurries away before Balem can decide to kill him, leaving Balem huddled by the window, staring off into the stars.


End file.
